Playing Postal 2: Mr. Dude Goes to Paradise

Playing Postal 2: Mr. Dude Goes to Paradise


“Grandma came down with the anthrax you know.” “Glad to hear it!” The Postal series of video games, created by Running with Scissors, is a series all about innovation. The first was a mission based isometric shooter with very little story and a dark, somewhat humorless, tone. My experience of it is very limited. Postal 2 on the other hand is a free-roaming FPS on the Unreal engine. It lightened the tone and aimed for more a parody of American culture rather than just an out-and-out murder fun. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” *Screaming* And lastly, Postal III. This game attempted to break new ground by being co-developed by three separate studios… … and being absolute shit. “I blame Glenn Beck.” “Piece of shit!” “I blame Glenn Beck.” *Bang!* Running With Scissors have since dubbed it “Russian Postal”, or “Akella’s Postal Spin-Off”, to distance themselves from it. A wise move, if any. With the poor reception Postal III received, Running With Scissors said they’d try harder for quality in future And they released a Postal 2 Complete Pack on Steam. Now, I’m unsure if that’s directly correlated, but honestly who gives a fuck? This is the version I’ll be using for the review. It has both Postal 2 expansions: The multiplayer “Share The Pain” and the single-player continuation “Apocalypse Weekend.” Plus their respective patches and base game additions. I’m not going to talk about these for any great length of time because I find them really boring. This version also has more resolution options, which for some reason reset every time I opened up the game again. It’s a minor niggle, but it does mean all my Monday footage is going to be stretched because I didn’t re-record it. I’ll deduct a mark from the game, even though that was entirely my fault. *Attempted Erasing Sounds* *Pen Drop!* I wrote it in pen. So, now we’re done with that, let’s actually focus on Postal 2 itself. The game was released in 2003 and stirred up controversy kind of quickly. Due to the fact the game was… … a tad over the top. “Holy shit!” “AAAAAAAAAH!” *BOOM!* ‘We’ll reclaim this holy land, in the name of Allah! Prepare to die infidels!” Yeah, like that. Quite a few retailers refused to stock it as a result, and plus the fact that it was from a studio that wasn’t very well-known, it never really gained widespread appeal. It’d get a cult following though. I’m not sure why people complained about the violence. The back of the box says it’s only as violent as you are. *BANG!* *SPLORCH!* “AAAAAAAAAA-*BLAM!* *WHOK! WHOK! WHOK WHOK!* *BOOM!* *WHANG!* “Ah I’m hit!” *WHANG!*”Ah I’m hit!” “Fuck.” Kind of negated by the fact that the game has a good degree of effort put into the various ways of violence. So what is Postal 2? Postal 2 is a game where kicking grenades is a much better strategy than throwing them. Postal 2 is a game where I can stop a robbery… *BLAM!* … then carry out on my own… … then I can apologize… “How can I help you?” “I’m sorry.” And on the way out, I’ll kick their cash points. Postal 2, lastly, is a game which doesn’t have a unique hitbox for Gary Coleman, but it does have a system where you can distract cops with donuts, which also takes into account whether or not you had previously pissed on them. “Kick-ass!” So what’s the story in Postal 2? Well you see, after murdering the entire population of Tuscon, Arizona, Postal Dude and his bitch– Yeah, she’s titled that. — move to the town of Paradise. Mister Dude having been offered a job at Running With Scissors due to the fact he’d likely fit in. However, someone does a background check and realizes he has no previous experience in game design, further cementing his aptitude at the company. He’s fired the moment he arrives regardless for no good reason. “Nothing personal man, but you’re fired.” Then a violent video game protest group busts into the room, sees The Dude in the building, and they become an enemy of his. So after cashing your first paycheck (and your only pay check), you then spend the game job hunting? Nah, you spend five days in The Dude’s shoes, doing menial tasks that typically go awry. At the start of each day you get a checklist of things to do around town, you do them — “I hope the bitch appreciates the trouble I went to!” — something typically dies in the process, then you go home to your trailer. For instance, you go return a library book. “Let’s burn some books!” Then a book-burning protest group busts into the library, sees The Dude in the building, and they become an enemy of his. You go to your uncle Dave’s cult compound. The apocalypse happens. A being a live protest group sees you on the planet and becomes an enemy of everyone. You fight or run your way home, realize you forgot Bitch’s ice cream, and then you kill yourself. If you want to sequence break the game for speedrunning purposes, there’s a readily available, dedicated “Kill yourself” button. *BLORCH!* The story’s pretty lightweight. It’s really just there to facilitate getting you into slightly odd situations. “Oh my God. I’m the damn gimp!” So that you can then work your way out of them through a special blend of psychology and extreme violence. It doesn’t want to teach you anything or really even tell a tale at all. It just wants to make things progressively more murderous and for that, I commend it. So how’s the gameplay? It’s alright. Controls are a little different than your standard first-person shooter fare. If you’re like me, you may expect the R key to reload. In this game, it whips your cock out. You may think that’s inconvenient, but your piss is an invaluable tool for progressing through the game. It can be used to distract foes… “Mother-Christ! You sick-Ugh! Christ! Ugh! You sick – Mother-Christ! Ugh! Christ! Ugh! Christ! Mother-You sick ba-Motherfu-You sick-Mother-You sick ba-Ugh! You sick-Christ!Mother-You sick BAAAS-CHRIST! EYOUUUUSICKBAAAA-” … put yourself out when you’re on fire, and you’ll be on fire pretty often. Plus you never need to reload anyway, so keep it a close keybind. You may want to rebind the keys for switching your items though. They’re a tad curious. Most of the game you’ll be wandering around the town of Paradise, walking between story objectives, exploring, or just generally fucking around. Really, the town itself doesn’t actually offer much to do except find hidden nooks and crannies filled with items or bad jokes The environments in this game are typically pretty bland all around. The level design is really open, and due to how samey quite a few places can look it can be hard to navigate at points. This is lessened by the map screen and the fact that most areas have a landmark of sorts. But it doesn’t help with the indoor environments. Due to the dullness of the overworld map it can make travel between objectives seem like a chore after a while, especially on later days where objectives are scattered all around. I mean, look at this shit. “Mmm-hmm!” That said, I am surprised by some of the hidden areas, and even though I played this game for years I still found new things. Like this cat garden that you have to access by jumping across powerlines. You may also occupy your time in Paradise killing things and inventing new ways of killing things. My favorite one — I call this one “The Daisy Chain” — You pour a trail of petrol, you lie some grenades atop it, And then you make amazing things happen. *BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!* It’s a tad impractical, mind. So by wandering around breaking into places you’ll find new weapons and equipment to aid The Dude against whatever enemies he ends up making. You’ve got your standard handgun, shotgun, machine gun. Yeah those are all nice and practical. Shooting feels fine. Weapons I imagine should feel pretty powerful do indeed feel pretty powerful. Even if certain foes can take a pretty good beating, Oddly enough, this Complete version started with aim smoothing on, which made aiming feel kinda slow and rigid. And alongside the standard foray of guns you’ve got wonderful things such as scissors. With which you can pull off some Revolver Ocelot-type shit. You know, just with scissors as opposed to revolvers. *BLAM!* “Ow!’ *FWIP!* *SHTICK!* “FUCK!” Petrol can, used to make things shooting at you too distracted to shoot at you. And last of these weapons, so as not to give away everything, a napalm launcher. For speeding up the distraction process. That’s right. We have wonders like an upgradeable radar… Health pipes, to which you can be addicted… “This can’t be good for me, but I feel great!” Withdrawal takes about 10 minutes, so I got no idea what drug addicts are complaining about, really. “Ah! Withdrawal’s a bitch.” Plus there’s catnip. Don’t bother using to gather cats, dear viewers. Smoke it. *SOUNDS OF SLOW-MOTION CARNAGE* Postal Dude also has the ability to kick. Useless as a weapon, great as a door opener. It’s become a habit of mine. Plus you can use it to play football with human heads. Just in case you need to further occupy your time. The game also has some degree of stealth, but the system is incredibly lightweight. In most circumstances enemies spawn knowing exactly where you are anyway. Its only practical purpose is gathering cats by crouch walking and catching them unawares. You see, cats serve as silencers, which don’t aid in stealth much either. I think they do increase weapon damage though. Some would consider this a bit fucked up. The town of Paradise itself starts off pretty quaint, save for the quirks of the locals… “I think I need a drink before breakfast.” “What?” *STOPRIGHTTHERECRIMINALSCUM* …and the al-Qaeda base behind your trailer. However, as you pick certain objectives and as the week goes on, the town of Paradise becomes more and more dangerous. As said earlier certain missions make groups of NPCs attack The Dude on sight after completion. “Doesn’t take a genius to guess what’ll happen the next time one of *them* sees me.” The map screen logs enemy groups with some terribly nice Polaroids. They typically can be ignored, and the police will help you if they attack first. Plus, Running With Scissors employees will always aid you, and they are some of the toughest bastards in the game. Near the end of the week, as the town starts heading for destruction, the Army moves in alongside the regular police force. And certain areas become infested with Osamas shooting at you, and only you, from the rooftops. So I hope you like outrunning homing rockets. If the amount of challenge isn’t precisely to your taste, you need not worry. You have 13 difficulty modes to choose from. Aggressive is pretty comfortable, however the three most interesting are Liebermode, the easiest difficulty, which replaces nearly all enemy weaponry. With what, you ask? Shovels! It leads to some amazing sights. “Drop it asshole!” And the gun damage is weakened so much that even enemies with guns can’t do shit. It’s interesting, but overall it’s not that fun. Next up, we have Insane-O, which gives everyone a random weapon, and all damage is doubled. And I believe the extra damage works both ways, so everything dies quicker. This difficult is amazing due to how much of a crapshoot it can be. Certain fights can be made far easier because now your opponents are wielding scissors, and some conflicts even solve themselves. “This is a stick-up!” “Don’t move and you won’t get hurt!” This makes for a fun, if incredibly unbalanced, game. Lastly we have “They Hate Me”, the hardest difficulty. Everyone who is armed will attack you on sight. Double damage still applies. This mode even comes with a warning label. Let’s compare me picking up my paycheck on “Aggressive”… “Nothing personal man, but you’re fired.” *Barely contained laughter* “But I just started yesterday!” *Uncontrollable laughter* “Your check is on my desk. Go get it.” And now let’s see it on “They Hate Me”. “How about some of this?” *NOTHINGPERSONALMANBUTYOUREFIRED* The differences are pretty big, I’m sure you’ll agree. The variety of difficulties is interesting. Only those three make any major differences to the game so far as I’ve seen. They do add some replayability, however, and Insane-O alone is a blast. Also, weapon damage seems to change somewhat on all difficulties. It may just be me, but lower difficulties therefore feel comparably sluggish. To finish talking about the challenge this game presents, and hearkening back to when I mentioned the game is only as violent as you are, No-kill runs are absolutely possible as completing your objectives never actually requires you to attack anyone. The game never puts you in a situation that you cannot simply just run through. Killing certainly makes things easier, mind. The game does have a taser to aid in non-lethal runs, and items like catnip will help you bypass enemies. Also, several missions can be completed simply by paying for goods rather than killing for them. Like the first mission where you can queue up and buy milk or murder everyone who gets between you and your stolen milk. “You gotta be fucking kidding.” “OHWALALALALALALA-“*BOOM!* *BOOM!* I’ve never attempted this however, because the idea doesn’t interest me all that much. Seems like it it’d just be a test of memorizing item pickups, and even then you can negate that part of the challenge because every time you exit and re-enter a map all item spawns are reset. Beat the game this way, though, and you do get a special message. You can find it on Wikipedia if you’re so inclined. So while the game does account for you being a pacifist, a lot of the meat of the game has been put into violence. The sound design of this game bears mentioning. I’ve shown some clips of NPCs conversing and that is certainly a sight. It’s awful, but it’s funny enough that I consider it something that works in the game’s favor. “Forty. Dollars.” You’ve also heard a lot of the dude quipping. He has tons of dialogue, but that doesn’t mean he won’t repeat himself, sometimes within the span of seconds. “Now that’s what I call welfare reform!” “Now that’s what I call welfare reform!” There’s no non-diegetic sound in the game, so background music only appears in appropriate areas. Oh, the background noise is near enough omnipresent, and it’s almost always a low machine hum. Some industrial areas having it even louder. *Loud humming* There is bird noise on certain maps alongside this. Simply put, the background noise is present enough to be noticeable, but it’s not too overbearing so as to be a deal breaker, or really really annoying. For me, it did eventually just fade out of mind. The heartbeat sound when highlighting buttons on the menus is bloody irritating, though. *Loud heartbeats* So, to wrap it all up, I would recommend Postal 2. At the very least, as a curiosity. I’ve had a lot of fun with this game, and I’ve replayed it a good number of times. It’s not a long game if you’re just playing through the story, but messing around, exploring, finding hidden goodies, and certain unlockables give the game a surprising amount of depth. I’ve actually left certain features and events out of this review because I do think people should be surprised by the game firsthand. As for whether the game is well designed and well thought out is up for debate. It just strikes me as a game that the developers had a lot of fun toying around with. And if you enter the game with the right mindset you may feel the same way. I’ve also not talked at any great length about whether or not the game is offensive. It can certainly appear that way a cursory glance. I do give the developers enough credit to believe that they were taking the piss out of American cultural perception, particularly that of the news media, by making their representation of certain controversial topics way over the top and not just done in poor taste. And that is such a wanky sentence that I do want to hurt myself. It’s evident that Running With Scissors have a sense of humor about themselves at the least. Shown by the fact they printed negative reviews on their fudge packs box cover. So, enjoyable if buggy gameplay, a great selection of weapons inspired by hit game The Ship, an expansive town with lots of little nooks (that may be a touch bland), and a protagonist unlike any other. “What the-” *THWOMP!*”Ah, stupid-” For better or worse. I give Postal 2… A 43. Oh yeah, there’s some first-person platforming, too. Um, forgot to mention that. It’s kind of crap, though.

62 Comments

  1. swan6307 says:

    Great review!

  2. Tehsnakerer says:

    Thanks very much, glad you enjoyed the video, I should have a new review up sometime next week.

  3. Tehsnakerer says:

    Thanks a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed the review, and I'll be sure to keep going. I'm not sure if I'll do Postal 1. Seeing as 2 is the only one in the series I enjoy and know a good deal about. But I'll keep it in mind.

  4. TheRydersanandreas says:

    9:03 that's the only way to get the (SUPER VOICE) ARMS OF MASSIVE DESTRUCTION!

  5. Tony Ruck says:

    Me gusta!

  6. Tehsnakerer says:

    You know, I've never actually gone through the Tora Bora cave in its entirety. Have used cheats to play with the WMD though.

  7. Tehsnakerer says:

    Good call, hope you have fun.

  8. Sexually Deviant Recordings says:

    I've wasted so much time playing this

  9. Captain Bamboo says:

    is postal 2 fun? im thinking about getting it

  10. Nanman says:

    Yep. It's lots of fun, and it has ridiculous humour, enemies and weapons. It's a bit of mindless fun, but if you're easily offended, you won't like it. Apocalypse Weekend and Share the Pain aren't that good though… Stick with the normal game.

  11. Tehsnakerer says:

    As Nanman said, but take note that Share the Pain is the commonly sold version nowadays, and does have some single player additions alongside it's rather lackluster multiplayer.

  12. Mad Doughnut says:

    The 1st time i played postal 2, i would give that game 90 out of 100
    it was innovative and great

  13. Meepicus says:

    I love the animal crossing music that you put in the video XD

  14. Meepicus says:

    43 out of? 100,50?

  15. Tehsnakerer says:

    Man, it's not "out of" anything. Why should another number need to suffer for my review?

  16. TDF says:

    Your 4's are weird as hell.

  17. doomfan12345 says:

    This game is loads of fun. In the right mood on a boring weekend (as if those exists when you have goals in your life), this game can be a masterpiece. Well, for me at least. 

  18. crazzycakes101 says:

    anyone notice that bully music. great game

  19. Juni Post says:

    Its just a game about an everyday dude. In an every increasingly shitty world. Until the day he just SNAPS and goes POSTAL! …(or not if played pacifist! ) Also this is the ONLY GAME PROPERTY that had a movie made by OWE BOLL that was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! IT PERFECTLY EXPLAINED THE ENTIRETY OF HOW THE GAME SHOULD FEEL! Your just some shlub pushed to the brink! Then ya just FINALLY GO FOR IT! and… Regret nothing…. Also Uwe boll gets shot in the balls. THAT ALONE SHOULD MAKE IT HIS BEST MOVIE!

  20. bloodrunsclear says:

    I've honestly never seen an enemy overcook a grenade DURING A CUTSCENE.
    I might need to get this game someday…

  21. randomnerd23 says:

    How does your scoring system work?

  22. Poorly says:

    One thing I hated about Friday [Postal 2 that is. If your thinking about the Rebecca black Friday i hate everything about that] is that you get -1 health for every second you spend taking a piss [purely because you got something wrong with yar nuts

  23. Portal Freak says:

    "Grandma came down with the anthrax y'know."

    "Glad to hear!"

  24. SteveDoidoUltimate says:

    1:55 Music name?

  25. AceSim Gaming says:

    Dat bully music <3

  26. 300Stalker says:

    10:29 My god. That cut scene you showed made me laugh for 3 minutes straight cause of stupidity that insane-o brings XD.

  27. Isaac Knott says:

    I think I died a little too hard to the daisy chain

  28. ポッサムRawrfunkle says:

    That sonic unleashed music gave me a nostalgia boner.

  29. Nemesis1998 says:

    snaker postal 1 dude and postal 2 dude are different people RWS has stated this

  30. tnt5000 says:

    postal 2 is a early build of unreal 2

  31. I get fucked by nee-chan's and okaa-san's futa dicks every night untill my asshole bleeds™ says:

    the fuckin bully music is lit my dudes

  32. Roby Miller says:

    THE Anthrax, like the band?

  33. Eleanors Fate says:

    . . . k i c k a s s !

  34. shig foogins says:

    All you need is better audio, and an ear for when you mumble words, and you'd cross the line from great to really great.

  35. SomeOtherGuy says:

    3:34 Tucson is pronounced too-sawn not tuck-son

  36. unfa says:

    What is a a 43?

  37. Anime4faggots says:

    Im from Russia… Postal 3 is sheet.

  38. йа крутой ти тапой says:

    ееее русский текст

  39. Remnant Viscera says:

    “Cueing is a big feature of this game”

    *Queuing

    Anyway, love people actually talking about the Postal series who aren’t Russian.

  40. Zatlovie says:

    this is probably the best Postal 2 video on youtube

  41. Eisen says:

    YOU SICK MOTHERCHRIST

  42. Cpt. Shmitt says:

    I really didn't like the weekend… when you're arrested by the us military after the taliban camp. That part was super boring and overall generic fps.

  43. Boriss Vassiljev says:

    0:53 – Почтовый Аклла в Спиновое Off))))))))

  44. Krun GDW says:

    That 'I wrote it in pen' gag was great and I appreciated it.

  45. Tam Tam says:

    After seeing you try to beat an elephant's head with a police baton, I just had to like the video out of sheer confusion.

  46. Puffy the Destroyer says:

    Next to gta This is the ultimate poster boy of all “do whatever the fuck you want “ games. Especially with the mods

  47. Matthew Johnson says:

    Lol. I like how when the convenience store worker feels threatened he runs to the back screaming "La la la la la lallalalla" 😂😂😂

  48. You Looked says:

    Makes a Postal video uses BULLY music

  49. Hit Content Productions says:

    The volume is all over the place in this video. Nonetheless, still a good watch.

  50. Robert Harris says:

    Some would consider using a cat as a silencer fucked up? More your fucked up if you dont.

  51. Silent Solitude says:

    Wow I bought this like yesterday

  52. Moolinyan says:

    Почтовый Акелла в Спиновое Off

  53. Fuzzy Dunlop says:

    EXCELLENT USE OF BULLY SOUNDTRACK

  54. Rizelu Gamer says:

    2:10 İslamafhobia

  55. john mark says:

    This review is quite old.

  56. Dead Juice says:

    I played this game a few years ago. I peed on some people, broke into a house and killed the occupants. But by the time I was supposed to defend vs the protesters, I lost interest.
    It felt like a joke I didn't get. I probably would have enjoyed this a lot when I was younger, but I don't care for it now.
    (Would like to note I didn't play enough to really see all the details and stuff you can uncover)
    I loved Manhunter. Never beat it, but enjoyed my time with it. That game set you up as a monster being punished, and your enemy was other monsters. I cared enough to get immersed and go for the worst kills possible while not being detected.
    I harbor no dislike for people who like this game, I just couldn't get into it. Watching this now, I wish I was more patient: it is definitely more interesting than I thought.

  57. Alexander Chippel says:

    I just finished playing the main campaign and while I didn't like Apocalypse Weekend that much. I still loved this game, and its now resting in my top five video games, somewhere between Half-Life 2 and Fallout: New Vagas.

  58. krisbrech says:

    I like watching people play this game wish i could but whatever

  59. Big Ice says:

    I heard recently that postal dude SR. Is the p1 main character

  60. Kyan Kyan says:

    Did you use some music from Bully

  61. C Trouble says:

    You and Civvie convinced me to pick this up. Even without nostalgia this game is fantastic. There never has been, and definitely never will be anything quite like it

  62. ANY things says:

    What is with the bully music in the back ground it makes me wanna play bully

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