Postal 2 : Coleman’s Reign

Postal 2 : Coleman’s Reign


Dunkey, you’re my biggest deputy, and I love you very much. From, Macaroni Man. Portal 2 picks up right where ya left off in, uh, at the end of Half-Life 2 with the big explosion… …There’s Gary Coleman. It’s based on the popular Postal film by Uwe Boll, critically acclaimed- DOGGY! Uh haha! Hi, Doggy! The dog’s no match for the tazer. If you want to defeat him you should use this.. OH THE DOG’S COMING BACK IN A BIG WAY! He’s uh, he’s had enough of the tazer! OK once you run out of tazer, uh…you gotta light him on fire somehow Just get outta here you FUCKING DOG You are no match for this fire- A shovel…PERFECT! FUCK YOU, DOG! So, you see I’ve defeated the dog, but he’s just my first opponent, on my way to- Aw what the heck?! You can- aw, you can pee wiener juice at people! Aw, gross man. Ewgh! She’s peeing out… my penis out of her mouth…with the orange…pee. Aw, that’s disgusting. Ew, you vile bitch. Aw, you’re nasty. (Woman)
“You motherfucker!” Aw, I’m sorry… Oh now she runs away. Hollll-y shit! (laughing) Hey baby lemme see that rack, huh? Urgh, come here lemme see that rack. LEMME SEE THAT RACK! Oh- She fell asleep! I’ll wake her up with the yellow Gatorade. This works. (laughing and growling) Ruuuuhhh! (gasp) Oooh! Hey- Hey where you going? LEMME SEE THAT RA- Well isn’t this guy the coolest man in the world. Man they got all the latest games here they=AW, THEY- (Making funny voice)
“Help me! I’m in the shark!” “Haaaaaaah!” (laughing) “Aaaahhh I’m in the shark’s mouth!” “Haaaaahhh!” (more laughing) Ooh this dude is zoning in on a game of Bastard Fish and the gameplay from Bastard Fish looks an awful lot like um- Coin Gobbler. I think they’re ripping off this game. Oh my goodness- Ey babyyy! Let’s FUCK! Hey, let’s have SEX! This is how you mate with a woman that you have a love affair with. And…she- she likes it I think. Hey! Come back here! I still love you…! This, uh, usually works in real life… Oh my god that’s DISGUSTING. This is just appalling. You don’t go THERE… …you go THERE! Oh my- who runs this? This is a- this is a poor establishment. This is a disgusting, just horrible estate, just Lets get some on the ceiling, too, yeah. Just ruin this place- It’s like he knows my every move! Hey! Oooh betcha didn’t see this coming! Boom! Aw man how’d he see that coming? Take one of these! Yaaaahhh! Ooh baby you ever feel a three-inch DICK? Oh shit. nononono- (reading)
Beware of rabid pitbull with AIDS. They don’t know. This is just a tree. (mumbling)
This is- to a biologist…its just a tr- OH SHIT! Oh shit- No I’ve uh- uh- oh god oh god! Oh god the streets are not safe! I’ve unleashed Hell upon the universe! Like, everybody watch out! This is a rabid pitbull! With AIDS! Watch out for the- Get ’em cops, shoot this dog! SHOOT THAT DOG! SHOOT THAT DOG!! Aw there goes his partner in crime! He’s escaping! The death toll is just accumulating! Hey BITCH! Lemme get that PUSSY! Heheee, here we go… aaaaaaand… Yah! Got ’em! Hey baby I was just looking at your boobies and I- Oh, somebody shot her in the head! I won’t stand for this. Hey! Stop shooting my woman in the head! Hey don’t worry baby, I took care of that guy. So, you know, maybe me and you can have sex-fuck now, huh? Hmm?! HAVE SEX-FUCK WITH ME, HUH?! HUH YOU BITCH- You said “no guns” you filthy- Oh my god, she’s vomiting all over my dick. I’ll just tell my friends that I got some “head” if you see what I’m saying there. Jacked In…Jack Off! Hey! Jack me off! (Woman)
“Is this everything?” (Player character)
“Yes.” (Woman)
“That’ll be one hundred bucks.” A hundred bucks?! Bitch…! I can jack myself off for a hundred bucks! You don’t know how to work that shotgun, you dumb bimbo! You work it like this! Boom! (laughing) Hey buh-buh-buh-buh! Heyyy buh-buh-buh! Buh-buh-BUH! (Postal Dude)
“I know what you’re thinking, but the funny thing is, I don’t even like video games.” Oh well you should play Postal 2. (humming) (Woman)
“Look out!” Bitch…! Oh- officer, there’s nothing, nothing- We’re- we’re all cool over here, police. We’re just… (whispering)
oh yeah, just gotta…just gotta get around this corner you little BITCH! HUH?! You don’t backtalk me! Alright, we’re done here folks- ah, what?! You saw nothing! YOU SAW NOTHING! Ooh mama cita I like- (Woman)
“One-side!” Bitch! (in a calm voice)
Tiger going for the birdie on this. Oh, he misses. He’s in the rough. He’s gonna have to shoot for a bogey on this one. And it appears Tiger has had enough of this bitches attitude. YOU SAW NOTHING. PIZZA PICNIC! (Loud munching noises) Hehe, watch this guys, I don’t even work here. (cackling) Eat the grenade to replenish your health bar! (explosion) Look, baby! Donut! Have sex with me. I got you nice donut! mmmm…buh! mmmm…ah! WELL SHE’S A STUCK-UP BITCH. That isn’t how you spell “buy”! You’re an IDIOT, Gary Coleman! (group chanting)
Games are bad, they make you mad! (singing along)
They make you mad, yeah games are bad, uh (Dunkey begins beatboxing)
“Games are bad, they make you mad!” I dunno what you guys are talking about. Games do not make you violent, alright? (Boss)
“Nothing personal, man, but you’re fired. (chuckles)” (laughing)
Nah, its cool, man. I had a…You know it’s just been nice working here with you guys, making this game. And I hope we can work together in the future- Ooooh, its the milk of legend! By a goat! You see, its like I always say, every milk has its day. And I’m about to…I’m about to drink this milk. Bitch, get out of here. (Cashier)
Money line forms THAT way, infidel! That’s a good joke! (laughing) He thinks I’m gonna wait in line, when I have a perfectly good rocket launcher here. Oh, Achmed. You- you have the best jokes. You always were the, uh.. You always were the comedian on this I guess. I’ll see you later, thanks for the milk, buddy. Um, you got a couple customers here in the hall- Hey kids! You’re parents are going to… DIIIIIEEEE!!! (heavy breathing) I just gotta make a deposit on this. Uh, can I make a deposit? (commotion, complaining) Oh, oh. Shit. Shit, they don’t let you cut in line here. You get in big trouble for that. Damn, they just killed that guy. That’s police brutality! Fuck you, police! I won’t abide by this shit! You can’t just go around killing people! Just for cutting in line, man that’s some bull- Uh, yes I would like to make a deposit. Put that into my checking, please. Man, police got me in some program, I gotta get signatures so that the community knows that I’m a violent offender. Can you sign my petition, sir? Anyone? Dude, these guys aren’t helping. (laughing)
Fuck you guys- Hey, man, don’t laugh at that! Have some respect for the dead, man, come on now. Just- hehe…have- Knock it off. (Man begins laughing on every hit) (Man)
“Idiot!” Hey, don’t call me idiot! (man continues laughing) (Dunkey laughing) Could you sign my petition? (Officer)
“Put your weapon down!” Nah, it’s a petition. (Postal Dude)
“Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?” (Officer)
“Drop it, asshole!” He’s conflicted. (Man screaming)

(Postal Dude)
“Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?” “Would you please sign my petition?” “Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?” Fuck you, then! (Officer)
“Drop the weapon or I’ll shoot!” “Would you please sign my petition?” Ooh, they got Gary Coleman here today selling autographs! Ooh, I’m gonna- aw, this is genius! I get him to sign my petition! I’ve always been a- Hey Gary! Hey Gary I’m- OK, I’m a huge fan. I love your work. I loved you in, uh, “Rush Hour”. (laughing) (gasps)
Oh my goodness. What is this? There is a HUGE line. Gary, Gary don’t worry. I’ve got this under control. I have a rocket launcher, okay? You guys get out of here, I have to talk- I have to talk- I’m a huge fan. Gary! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, GARY! I LOVE YOU FROM SPONGEBOB! SIGN MY SHIT- If you could just make that out to “videogamedunkey”. That is my legal name.

100 Comments

  1. Thomas Worden says:

    darkest dunk

  2. Stinkybeans93 says:

    That man laughing and insulting dunkey as his face gets repetitively smacked by a shovel is my hero

  3. Anil Gopnarayan says:

    Bastard Fish has more realistic graphics than Postal 2

  4. The Crow Brotherhood says:

    after 5 years and 3 million views this is still monotized

  5. Sports 10 says:

    You should play postal 3

  6. Watery abysss 7768 says:

    “Eh bay be, ever fell a 3 inch dick?”
    *turns around with gun and shots

  7. Rage virus and zombification are 2 diverse concepts says:

    Imagine if Dunkey re-played Postal 2 with Steam workshop mods… lol

  8. Christopher Caldwell says:

    2:49 u spelled the letter p with your pee

  9. Matt Petty says:

    Aww you vile bitch

  10. Jonathan Huerta says:

    5:47

  11. jemen watermelons are really tasty yum says:

    watching a man succumb to madness

  12. Theawesomegamer 63 says:

    You know Dunkey, you kinda sound like Gary Coleman.

  13. Ananthu Vj says:

    Have you ever peed in someone's mouth and made them puke and then decapitated that person while he or she was puking and played fetch with a dog with that decapitated head…aahh..postal 2.

  14. Jasonxhx says:

    The doughnuts lure cops, cats are gun suppressors, you get to wear a gimp suit, the last level it rains cats and dogs… This was just an absolute gem of a game.

  15. Coozooken Fers says:

    Have sex fuck with me!

  16. Argon Trooper Archer says:

    >not age restricted
    You're a hero to us all, Dunkey

  17. holycowrap says:

    This game is actually really fucking fun

  18. Abrupt Fury says:

    That guy that was sitting there laughing while u beat him to death xD

  19. Colin says:

    Dunkey classic

  20. Jordan says:

    how did donkey miss the greatest pun opportunity of 2013 at 0:36?

  21. Juan Pineda says:

    You pieces of crazy you killed a dog

  22. camel dog says:

    Am i the only one that thinks the postal games and movie are masterpieces?

  23. Sarken says:

    "she's peeing my penis out of her mouth, inaudible the orange pee"

  24. gibberishdump says:

    PIZZA PICNIC!!!!111!!!11!1

  25. Unknown Person says:

    5:48 So, No one seriously talked about this? IT'S A MASTAPEECE

  26. J Sharp says:

    All these racks give me a bonerrr

  27. Rory 23__ says:

    Man I’m waiting for the day I meet that lucky girl, just so I can whip out my dick and piss on her whilst yelling let’s fuck

  28. jasper ferbiest says:

    postal 2: Demonetized

  29. samuel gerad says:

    0:37 get it? Youre no MATCH

  30. Rolexo says:

    You can clearly see/hear that this video isn’t from today

    He just said sex

  31. ʟᴇᴠɪᴀᴛʜᴀɴ says:

    wack

  32. Pengmaeda says:

    You can't get away with videos like this on YouTube today. What a sad world we live in…

  33. Lolt West says:

    God damn, I can't imagine what would happen if this came out today.

  34. McKay Dula says:

    Hahahahaha
    W O A H.
    …..

    WHERE YOU GOIN’?!?!?!? GUNSHOT

  35. Jedediah Hopkins says:

    Dunkey whipping out his meat scepter to piss all over everything is the best.

  36. Spectre says:

    Dunkey in here playing golf with a decapitated woman’s head and a shovel.

  37. Kultyapka ̄_ツ_/ ̄ says:

    Yeah ma nigga

  38. Half-life fan 39 says:

    Portal 2 picks up right where you left off in uh at the end of Half life 2 with the big explosion there's Gary Coleman it's based on the popular POSTAL film by uwuy bowl critically acclai- DoGgIe

  39. user of username says:

    Out of 3.7 million people, only 1.7 thousand people disliked, I'm impressed. Liked

  40. Wtfzipcode says:

    i come back to this video six years later and wish i could like it again.

  41. dorpth says:

    This game was the Goat Simulator of its day: an absolute blast of open world chaos…for about 20 minutes until the shallow tedium set in.

  42. EggOfReason says:

    his most vile video

  43. The Peak of Human Evolution says:

    He was high as F U C K when making this

  44. Random game clips ! says:

    LET ME SEE THAT RACK

  45. Bill ThesuperSUCC says:

    "awww gross man ew shes peeing out my- penis out of her mouth through the orange pee"

  46. Bill ThesuperSUCC says:

    2:05

  47. Dre Jackson says:

    YOU VILE BITCH

  48. Bent Broadcast says:

    Dunkey is going insane

  49. Jake Panek says:

    2:59

  50. deece33 says:

    You should take this down before normies see it

  51. Aberdolf Lincler says:

    You're no match for this fire

  52. Jackson says:

    Portal 2 but you can Pee… 2.

  53. conor martin says:

    “Also know in the UK as pee pee post office”

  54. Tsuki:3 says:

    Hi, can you sign my petition?

  55. CHOMP MAN says:

    Has anyone else heard of going postal?

  56. Demolisher says:

    3:40 How to pick up a girl 😂😂😂

  57. Trevor Philips says:

    "This is how you mate with a woman." Unless you don't want her to get pregnant, then you just pull it out and pee on her leg.

  58. Wapplesax says:

    PIZZA PICNIC

  59. Wapplesax says:

    this video is relevant again

  60. Nigel Parkes says:

    The guy in the shark's mouth looks like Gus Johnson

  61. Fleidy Leegyrson says:

    2:13 dunkey as a patient and caring father

  62. DatVince says:

    2:08 How Dunkey met LeahBee

  63. 409 Huncho says:

    Bastard Fish

  64. Porzy the Clown says:

    This is a documentary right

  65. Matthew Morrison says:

    Dunkey: pulls out shovel to fight dog
    People who've seen T H A T video: ah shit, here we go again

  66. Guacamole NiPe says:

    What a chad

  67. The One And Only PixelBanana says:

    Anyone else notice that the Postal Guy's bladder icon looks more like Lynel Guts than a bladder?

  68. MuddaGoose says:

    From the first time I saw this video, I now refer to intercourse as "sex-fuck"

    Thank you Dunkey, you are a National Treasure (Nicholas Cage: piss on my face, brother).

  69. Luigi Cat says:

    So this game basically makes you R. Kelly.

  70. Max Kavanagh says:

    PIZZA PICNIC!!!

  71. LilRevive 420 says:

    While watching this video I got laid, thank you dunkey.

  72. ALEC 32123 says:

    0:25 Logan Paul

  73. Ramses Alejandro Caraballo Alvarez says:

    Jason must play Postal 2 A Week In Paradise

  74. Stomedy Rice farmer says:

    6:20 – society now

  75. Atticus says:

    the thumbnail is dunkey as a child

  76. Justin says:

    Jesus, Dunkey will get cancelled immediately if the Twitterati SJWs catch wind of this shit. Haha!

  77. Muhammad Umer Junaid (Class 2016) says:

    Wtf. Why'd you kill the dog

  78. Sofiia Dvoretska says:

    Wach GoatZ silumitar

  79. Sumeet Ranadive says:

    Freaking great.. I laughed till my internal organs came out.. it was amazing.. loved it so much.. you are amazing..

  80. Aul In says:

    Bring back aids dog!

  81. Farhad Barazandeh Pour says:

    Pisses on chick to get her to fuck him.
    After he unbelievably gets denied, "It usually works in real life"

  82. joshuapenguin says:

    This video shows exactly how Dunkey interacts with people outside in the real world

  83. Gaspar Tiznado says:

    2019 Dunkey: (to Leah) I love you more than tacos…

    2013 Dunkey: SHOW ME THAT RACK! shoots NPC woman with a shotgun I'mma just wake her up with the yellow Gatorade. peeing on her dead corpse

  84. Conner Bearden says:

    I honestly thought this was a portal 2 video

  85. Tyler Ho says:

    Gary Coleman Gary Coleman Gary Gary Coleman so sorry that you had to go man, man.

    1968 – 2010

  86. bach pham says:

    This guy is now married btw.

  87. Dylan Hackett says:

    Postal 4 brought me here

  88. Jesse Lapham says:

    This is the kind of edginess that YouTube has been missing lately. Thanks Dink.

  89. In the name of scientific progress says:

    I miss the old dunkey

  90. JohnX311500 says:

    3.2/5 mildly difficult to eat spaghetti and meatballs while viewing

  91. Chegg says:

    8:21 Joker (2019)

  92. H.P Alternativeproduction says:

    “That’s why I fucking hate video games, cause it appeals to the male fantasy

  93. Adam Thow says:

    fucking hate how my country (new zealand) banned this. it looks so good

  94. __ says:

    This game is like an exact recreation of what its like to live in America with all the shootings and the mass shootings and of course the shootings. The only part which is inaccurate is the fact that everybody isn't morbidly obese.

  95. JackRuinsEverything says:

    Incel dunkey

  96. Melvin Burch says:

    "Uggh, you vile b*tch"

  97. Matt Petty says:

    You killed postal dudes dog right away lol

  98. theoriginalemim says:

    The guy on the side of Bastard Fish looks like Gus Johnson

  99. Kyle Hyde says:

    That dog's name was Champ and Civvie played Postal 3 to save that dog and you killed him!

  100. Just a bean trying to get some sleep says:

    2:08 be careful leah

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